Guilty Pleasures and Cookie Wars

Let’s talk guilty pleasures, and for once, this isn’t about food (yet). Okay, I’ll just say it: I have a problem with reality TV. “A problem” in the addictive sense, that is. For instance, I jokingly started watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians when nothing else was on, and at some point my viewing crossed a line to…well, needing to actually keep up with the Kardashians. Trash TV like this puts me in a trance that I can’t fully explain…a calm, brain-dead trance, that keeps me coming back for more.

Naturally, this trance expands to food-centered reality TV as well, and my latest “problem” is Cupcake Wars. Here’s the gist: Four bakers compete to have their cupcakes displayed at a grand event (fashion show, broadway opening, hollywood party, etc.), and that event becomes the theme of the competition. The themes come with crazy ingredients too, like vegetables, spices and absinthe (that was just one time, but it made an impression on me), that the bakers need to transform into delicious cupcakes. Food blogger Baker Bettie decided to do her own spin-off of the TV contest, and with COOKIES, no less. I’m much better-versed in cookie experimentation than with cupcakes, so this was the perfect opportunity for me to try something risky and adventurous, and feel like I was actually IN Cupcake Wars. How cool, right? Of course, there would be no actual cupcakes, stressful time crunch, or $10,000 prize, but hey, bring it.

Carrot Cake Whoopie Pies, A Love Story

Like most forms of love, my love for carrot cake is complicated, because I don’t even really understand it. As a vegetable, I kind of hate carrots, and as far as desserts go, I’m usually a chocolate girl, but there’s just something about carrot cake that gets me. I thank my good friend and former roommate, who I will annoyingly refer to as “The Bride” in the remainder of this post, for introducing me to my carrot cake love. When carrot cake day rolled around in our college cafeteria freshman year, she insisted that I try it. Being the way I am, I had of course thought that putting carrots in cake was for the birds, or at least people who like carrots. When I begrudgingly loaded up my fork and gave it a go, I knew I’d found a new dessert love outside of the chocolate realm. Yes, that’s right people, I’m a dessert polygamist. Deal with it.

Anyway, for this friend of mine, The Bride, carrot cake is nothing short of food crack. When she sees it, she needs it, regardless of time, place, or level of hunger. Her mom makes an amazing traditional carrot cake: fluffy, layered, and bursting with buttery, thick cream cheese frosting. It will knock your socks off and put you in a food coma. So, naturally, when The Bride’s bridal shower approached, I knew I needed to invite our mutual love, carrot cake. Since the festivities began midday, I didn’t want to make a huge, intimidating cake, so I decided to go the cookie route…well, the double cookie sandwich with thick cream cheese frosting squeezing out the sides route, but still, it seemed like a lighter option.

Simple Recipe, Simple Humor

I like to think that I have a pretty good sense of humor. My brother and sister are both hilarious, and as the runt of the family (yes, the youngest and shortest), I’ve spent my life trying to emulate their coolness and hilarity. That being said, there are times when even us funny ones (okay, and wannabe funny ones) need to go for the easy joke. The joke that everyone is thinking, but no one says. Well, in my family we’ve started just saying it, and at Christmas no less.

For as long as I can remember, my family has made the same cookies year-after-year: chocolate crinkles, bon bons, sugar cookies, ginger cookies, mini pecan pies, and krumkake, just to name a few. We end up with enough cookies to live off of for months, and that’s pretty much what we do, except maintain the amount of cookies you’re imagining, then condense “months” into a span of two weeks and you have my family’s holiday food ritual. A few years ago, my sister decided to shake up our routine by adding a newcomer to the bunch. Is it fancy? No. How about pretty? Not even a little bit. Is it even a “baked” good? Nope, it doesn’t so much as glance at the oven. So why did we veer away from our usual lineup for a decidedly un-Christmas-y cookie? In true family tradition, we did it for two reasons: humor and the opportunity for increased sugar intake.

Before we get into the details, I want to preface the recipe by saying that I’m aware that this humor is a bit adolescent. Sure, you would think my siblings and I would have outgrown this phase when we transitioned into adulthood, but the irony mixed with the cookie’s absurd deliciousness have made this recipe stick around. As with most jokes, this one is not without objectors; my dad refuses to call the cookie by its correct name, so that he can avoid feeling awkward about his new favorite Christmas treat. The rest of us, however, roll with the simple joke and accept ourselves for what we are: inappropriate cookie consumers.

Sibling Rivalry, With Love (and Chocolate)

I’m a cookie girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some cake, ice cream, brownies and the like, but when I want a dessert, I usually want a big, thick, soft-yet chewy cookie. I’ve been baking cookies since I was a little girl, helping my grandma gently mix the dough, then fold in the chips. As they were baking, I’d standing in the kitchen for what seemed like the longest ten minutes any six-year-old had ever been forced to suffer. At the ding of the kitchen timer I’d get the first soft, right-outta-the-oven cookie, and walk into the living room with melted, delicious evidence all over my face and hands that proved I was faster than my older sister.

When my sister and I bake together these days things are pretty much the same. We take the pan out and both grab for the most appealing cookie to take a chunk out of. We also have both been on a mission to make THE BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE imaginable. My sister may have been the first to discover the power of using cake flour in cookie batter, but this week I must [not-so] humbly admit that the stakes have been raised, dear sister. How so, you ask? Because I feel like I’ve evened the playing field with a little discovery I’d venture to say resulted in a contender for THE BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE. Jokes aside, I can’t contain it any longer, I have to share it, so here it is…